


Cut To The Feeling

by LostAndDelirious



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Clexa, Drabbles, F/F, Ficlets, Fluff, Linctavia - Freeform, Modern AU, One Shot, Slow Burn, Smut, Tumblr, clexa angst, clexa au, clexa fluff, clexa modern au, elyza lex - Freeform, lexark, ranya
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2020-09-19 04:23:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20325040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostAndDelirious/pseuds/LostAndDelirious
Summary: A collection of drabbles and ficlets from Tumblr prompts.Feel free to drop me a line there and submit one!cantgetoutofmyheda.tumblr.com





	1. The Bet

The wine bar was much more charming than the usual establishments the sisters frequented. The familiar smell of skunked beer had been replaced with rich and delicate wines, while the half-empty bowls of stale bar nuts had been replaced with cheese and charcuterie boards.

“Why couldn’t we just go to the bar down the street from your apartment like we always do?” Lexa asked in the sort of ‘younger sister whine’ that only Anya could evoke from her.

Across the small table, a smirk appeared, “Because, Lex, you lost a bet. That means I get to pick what we do tonight, you have to do everything I tell you to, and everything we do is on your dime.”

“Anya,” the younger sister started as she swept her hair over her shoulder, “it was over something so stupid, it hardly constituted as a bet. We didn’t even shake on it.”

Anya shrugged before finishing off the libation in her glass, “Lest we not forget, a verbal contract is legally binding in the state of New York.”

“You’re insufferable, you know,” Lexa rolled her eyes, “how you have a license to practice law is beyond me.”

“Oh, relax,” Anya playfully scoffed, “I know you’re enjoying this place just as much as I am. We need to stop being such creatures of habit and expand our horizons. Admit it, you like it here.”

Lexa pursed her lips as she gave out a sigh of defeat, “Fine, maybe I do.”

The pair had been at the bar for quite some time. The happy hour crowd had come and gone, with the place now filling up with people who were ready for dinner. Anya wasn’t sure if the positive change in Lexa’s mood had to do with her sister actually having a good time or if it was the four glasses of Malbec she had consumed, but needless to say, she was happy about it.

“Get out of here, Ahn. I do not have a type,” Lexa shook her head as she motioned for their server to refill her glass.

“Lex, you’ve got to be kidding me. You do. Dark, curly hair, dark eyes. You’re as predictable as they come,” Anya snorted.

Lexa crossed her arms, “That’s not true.”

“Name one girl, then,” her sister challenged her.

Lexa opened her mouth to answer, but wrinkled her nose as she closed it, as no one came to mind. The wine must have been giving her a temporary bout of memory loss, because there was no way her sister could actually be right. She didn’t realize almost a minute had passed while she was rumbling through her thoughts when she noticed Anya rubbing her hands together with a devilish grin plastered on her face.

Lexa raised a brow, “What?”

“I have an idea,” Anya answered, raising her chin slightly.

Lexa cocked her head to the side, “What is it?”

“You have to hit on the next blonde that walks through this door with the cheesiest pick up line you know,” Anya said as she leaned forward across the table, making it known she was intruding in Lexa’s space.

Lexa shook her head as she took another sip of her wine, “Absolutely not.”

“A bet’s a bet, Lex. You have to,” Anya pointed out.

“Ahn, we’re at a nice wine bar, not some skeezy dive bar,” Lexa huffed as she clenched her jaw, “I’m not doing that.”

“Oh, little sister. You will most definitely be doing it,” she then motioned for Lexa to turn around to look at the front door, “and it seems like blondie is just in time.”

Lexa opened her mouth to protest, but then got a glimpse of who her sister was calling her attention to. She was pretty. No, she was beautiful, and she most certainly saw Lexa twisted around in her chair staring right in her direction. The brunette whipped back around to face her sister before taking a large swig of wine from her glass, “I’m going to kill you for this. I hope you know that.”

“Who knows,” Anya tilted her head to the side, “maybe one day you’ll end up thanking me.”

Lexa sighed as she stood up, smoothing down the fabric of her dress. The blonde and the woman she walked in with were seated at the bar, wasting no time ordering a bottle of wine to settle between them. Lexa was preparing herself for what was about to unfold: she was going to use a line, either get slapped or laughed at, then ask to close out her and Anya’s tab so she could go home and never, ever step foot in the establishment or make a bet with her sister ever again.

The blonde’s back was facing Lexa, but as she approached the two, her friend noticed her presence. The girl looked up from her bar seat to where Lexa was standing, ratherly close behind her friend, 

“Hey, Clarke. I think you’ve got a visitor,” she said as her eyes darted to where Lexa was standing.

The blonde turned around and her eyes met the green ones before her, giving Lexa a look telling her she noticed how she was staring when she first entered the bar, “Was there something I could help you with?”

“Actually, there is,” she said, before leaning back and turning to look at Anya, allowing for Clarke to look at the table where the girl was watching with sheer amusement, “Would you grab my arm, so I could tell my sister I’ve been touched by an angel?”

Before Clarke could say anything, her friend coughed out a spritz of wine onto the floor, earning a grin from Lexa. She couldn’t help it when her lips curled into a smile, and she really couldn’t help the blush that was crawling up her neck onto her cheeks, “Does that line normally work for you?”

Maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was wanting to prove to her sister that she could still be fun. Or maybe it was the beautiful girl that she just made blush.

“You tell me,” she grinned, as she slid the blonde her business card.

Clarke picked up the small piece of card stock from the bar top and read the details on it. When she finally looked up, Lexa was already making her way back to her table, with what seemed to be an extra spring in her step.


	2. The Affair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon Tumblr Prompt: Can I ask you to write an angst filled prompt? Maybe an affair but Clexa are the ones having one.
> 
> \---
> 
> A collection of drabbles and ficlets from Tumblr prompts.
> 
> Feel free to drop me a line there and submit one!  
cantgetoutofmyheda.tumblr.com

The feeling of her back hitting the sheets was the second softest feeling in the world, second to the feeling of her lips tracing over her girlfriend’s body. Her body laid limp, almost lifeless after the near hour-long assault she had managed to commit between Clarke’s thighs. Lexa took a deep breath, exhausted, before turning to her side and closing her eyes.

“Lex,” Clarke loudly whispered, wanting the girl to hear her, but not wanting to fully disturb her.

The brunette let a sigh out, “Just five minutes, then I’ll get up.”

“Actually,” Clarke smiled as she traced her finger up the tattoo that spanned Lexa’s whole spine, “I was going to say we’d have time for another go if you forewent your nap today.”

“You’re insatiable,” Lexa muttered into her pillow.

Clarke hummed as her fingers found their way up Lexa’s neck into the brunette’s hair, “Only when it comes to you, love.”

“Only when it comes to you,” the words echoed over and over in Lexa’s head. As soon as it slipped out of Clarke’s mouth, Lexa spiraled out of her post-sex moment of bliss and snapped back into what her reality actually was. Clarke was insatiable when it came to Lexa. No one else drove Clarke to want to go on for hours. No one could get Clarke to reach that altitude of pleasure. No one. Especially not Clarke’s husband.

“Only when it comes to you, love,” was now ringing through her ears. Though Lexa knew how Clarke felt, the blonde was careful to be sparing with her terms of endearment and signs of affection, knowing the mental conflict it always seemed to cause Lexa.

“Lex?” Clarke timidly asked, slowly retreating her fingers from the nest of chestnut hair on the pillow.

The blonde immediately felt Lexa’s body tense up, she knew what was about to come. It wouldn’t be the first time this had happened, but there was a new pang of sadness brewing inside of her, making her think Lexa had finally reached her breaking point, making her believe this might actually be the last time.

Instead of turning around to face Clarke, Lexa slowly sat up. She raised her hands to her face to wipe the tears that had started falling.

“Leave him,” Lexa pleaded, in the softest whisper.

Clarke sat up behind the brunette, her head falling down as the words fell from her mouth, “You know I can’t, it’s not that simple.”

Lexa turned around slightly, not wanting to look the blonde straight on, not wanting to give Clarke all of her, “Do you love me?”

Clarke’s heart shattered at the words that escaped Lexa’s mouth, “Lex, you know I do.”

Another whimpered whisper, “You’re not doing anything to prove it.”

“You know how complicated this is. We have a child, I can’t just-”

“You can, Clarke. You can leave him and still co-parent, but you won’t. You tell me you love me, and maybe you do, but maybe,” her voice cracked before letting out, “you just don’t love me enough.”

The brunette stood up, starting to gather her discarded clothes that were strewn about the room, throwing each article onto her body until she was fully dressed. She turned around to see Clarke still sitting on the bed. It was now the blonde’s turn to wipe back her own tears.

“Please, Lexa,” the blonde petitioned, “Can we just talk about this?”

Lexa finally gained some sense of composure. At the very least, there were no more tears streaming down her face, “I think we’ve talked about it enough over the last eighteen months. This has to be the last time, Clarke. It has to, otherwise it’s going to completely and irrevocably break me.”

Clarke wiped her eyes one last time, albeit the stream still flowing down her cheeks. Before she thought to open her mouth to beg Lexa to stay just one more time, she was met with the most painstruck green eyes she had ever seen. They remained that way, looking at each other and saying their goodbyes with just a solemn stare, until Lexa finally nodded and turned on her heels to walk out. Finally and for good.


	3. The Baby Raccoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A collection of drabbles and ficlets from Tumblr prompts.
> 
> Feel free to drop me a line there and submit one!  
cantgetoutofmyheda.tumblr.com

Lexa had finishing pitching the tent, unsurprised that Clarke was nowhere to be found to help with the setup. She couldn’t blame her girlfriend, though. If anything, she was always more than pleased whenever Clarke would agree to come on these camping trips with her friends. Clarke was more of a city girl; it wasn’t that she disliked being in nature, it was just something she had never spent that much time doing, until Lexa came around.

“Clarke?” Lexa called out, looking around the campsite.

Anya laughed, taking a moment to look at her cousin, “Did the doc skip out on tent duties again?”

The younger cousin rolled her eyes, “Shut up, Anya.”

Lexa walked over to her car to see if Clarke was holed up inside. Instead, she found the cooler wide open and Clarke’s backpack, spilling most of its contents onto the car floor.

Confused as ever, she shut the cooler, “Where the hell is sh-”

“Lex,” Anya interrupted her thought, “found your girl.”

Lexa walked over to where Anya was standing to get a better vantage point. The older girl nodded in the direction of the blonde. She was just past where Lexa had set up their tent, crouched down to the ground with a container of milk to her side.

“Clarke!” Lexa called out. “What are you doing?”

“Shh,” the blonde brought her finger to her lip, before motioning the two to come over.

Anya shook her head as she patted Lexa on the back, “Whatever this is, I’m sitting it out. This is all you, buddy.”

Lexa trudged over to Clarke and bent down to see what had her girlfriend so consumed. She didn’t quite expect to see what her eyes had laid upon. To her sheer and utter surprise, Clarke was cradling an extremely small raccoon.

“Clarke,” Lexa’s eyes were bugged out, “that could be rabid, put it down!”

“Lex, he’s hurt and I haven’t seen any other babies or the mom anywhere near the campsite, I’ve been looking since I saw him.”

“He could be rabid, Clarke, and you’re just holding him as if it’s nothing,” Lexa sighed.

Clarke took her eyes off the baby animal and looked at her girlfriend, “Lexa, when I spotted him, he was dragging his hind legs. Something happened, but he can’t walk. He was crying, I didn’t know what else to do.”

The brunette looked to her girlfriend in amusement, “So you decided to pick him up, swaddle him like a baby, in what seems to be my t-shirt, but we can talk about that part later, and feed him the milk we brought to use for our coffee tomorrow morning?”

“You know,” Clarke grinned, “for someone who has always been hoping for me to become more ‘in tune’ with nature, I really thought you’d be happy about this. And for the record, he’s been very docile. He’s not rabid, he’s just hurt and needs his mom.”

Lexa looked down at the animal, “Clarke, you know you can’t feed the animals out here. What we eat isn’t what their bodies are used to, and if they think that you’re becoming a steady food source, they’re going to keep coming back here.”

“I’m not just going to stand here and watch him suffer, Lexa,” Clarke furrowed her brow.

The brunette looked at her girlfriend and realized she wasn’t going to win this one, “Fine, Clarke. Please just don’t bring him into our tent. When we leave on Sunday, you need to bring him to the park ranger station if his mom doesn’t come back for him. And you have to tell Anya the news that she won’t have any milk for her coffee in the morning.”

Clarke smiled, “I knew you’d cave. You’re such a softy.”

“I want nothing to do with this,” Lexa sighed, as she turned to head back to unpack the rest of her car.

–

Clarke woke up in the middle of the night. Her body felt cooler than it should have been during the mid-summer night. She reached over, ready to pull Lexa closer to her, to bask in the brunette’s warmth. It was then when she realized her lack of warmth was due to her lack of girlfriend in their shared sleeping bag.

She propped herself up on her elbows, figuring Lexa had woken up to use the restroom. After a few too many minutes had gone by, she decided to go and check on the brunette. She quickly grabbed the first headlamp within her reach and quietly headed out of the tent.

She started towards the bathrooms, but a sound brought her attention elsewhere.

“It’s okay, little guy,” a voice cooed.

Clarke smiled as she sighed, she knew exactly what was happening.

“Good job, buddy. Have a little more so you don’t get hungry for a while,” the voice encouraged.

“So,” Clarke interrupted the scene, “what happened to him being rabid?”

The light of Lexa’s headlamp immediately shone in Clarke’s direction, “I heard him dragging himself to the same spot behind our tent and then he started crying, so I figured he was hungry.”

“I thought you wanted nothing to do with this?” Clarke challenged, her face clad with a smirk.

Lexa shrugged, “Well, I guess he’s kind of cute. And maybe I feel a little bad for him.”

“He is cute, isn’t he?” Clarke asked. Before Lexa could reply, she added, “He kind of reminds me of you.”

“What?” Lexa wrinkled her nose, “How?”

Clarke bent down to kiss her girlfriend’s cheek, “He’s just adorable and I want to scoop him up and give him all the love I have.”


	4. Wish That I Was Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From an anon tumblr prompt: I love affair au but can you write a cute small town au. Best friends to lovers in the big city.
> 
> \---
> 
> A collection of drabbles and ficlets from Tumblr prompts.
> 
> Feel free to drop me a line there and submit one!  
cantgetoutofmyheda.tumblr.com

“Clarke, wake up,” Lexa shouted through the door leading to the blonde’s room, “I can’t find my neck pillow!”

“Ugh,” the blonde murmured from the nest of blankets she had burrowed herself into, “I’m sleeping, Lexa.”

The brunette took Clarke’s reply as a cue to open the door, “Have you seen it anywhere?”

“Lex!” Clarke huffed as she put a pillow over her head to block out the sound of her best friend’s voice.

Lexa pulled her lips into a smirk before plunging herself atop the blonde’s body, “Morning, Clarke.”

Clarke begrudgingly removed the pillow covering her face, “Why must you do this to me?”

Lexa stayed in her position, knowing Clarke wasn’t awake enough to have the strength to push her off, “Because it’s nearly 10am and there’s no reason for you to still be asleep. And because my flight is in two hours and can’t find my neck pillow and something tells me you’ve hidden it from me.”

“Well,” Clarke rubbed her sleepy eyes as she sat up, “maybe if you weren’t traveling so much, I wouldn’t have to start hiding things from you.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “You hiding my things isn’t going to stop work from making me travel.”

“What if next time I hid your passport?” Clarke raised a brow.

Lexa snorted, “Then I’d tell you to have fun explaining that to Titus.”

It wasn’t that the blonde’s actions we’re just, but Lexa understood where she was coming from. After all, it had been Lexa’s idea that the pair moved from their small and quaint hometown to Polis. Lexa had a great job opportunity waiting and knew that Clarke would be able to still do her freelance graphic design work from wherever she pleased; she also knew a bigger city meant a better chance at getting more clients.

The thing is, Lexa and Clarke had been inseparable their entire lives. They grew up down the street from each other, they started daycare together, they went through middle school and high school together, they even roomed together in college. Unknowingly, they had become an extension of one another.

“It’s not fair,” Clarke let out, to which Lexa raised a questioning brow.

“What isn’t fair?”

At this point, Clarke was fully sitting up. Lexa had finally gotten off the top of her and was seated by her side. The blonde leaned her head on her best friend’s shoulder, “You made me move here with you, but you’re never actually here.”

“Clarke-”

Clarke shook her head as she cut the girl off, “No, it’s true. This was your idea and now it feels like I’m just stuck here while you’re off traveling the world. I only see you a few times a month now, Lex, and when I do, you’re running around the apartment like a crazy person, unpacking and repacking your suitcase for your next trip.”

Lexa closed her eyes in thought, “I know.”

“At this rate, we might as well get a one bedroom to save on rent since you’re never here,” Clarke let out.

“That’s not fair, Clarke.”

“It’s not fair that this was your idea and now I’m just stuck here.”

“After this trip, I don’t have to go anywhere for another three weeks,” Lexa offered, “Maybe I can take a few days off and we can go somewhere for a long weekend.”

Clarke shook her head, “The last time you said that, they put you on a last minute flight to London and we had to cancel our Airbnb. I’d rather not chance that again.”

Defeated, Lexa grounded her feet to the cold wooden floors to start her exit back to her own bedroom, “I’m sorry, Clarke. I’ll be better, I promise.”

“Lex,” Clarke called after the girl, “I’m proud of you. You worked so hard to get this job and I know all the travel is because you’re doing an amazing job. I just miss you. I miss you a lot.”

“Me too,” the brunette sighed as she leaned against the door frame.

Clarke clicked her tongue, “I hid it under the couch cushion. Have a safe trip, Lex.”

Lexa nodded as she gave the blonde a somber smile, “I’ll be home soon.”

\--

Lexa looked down at her phone, her text to Clarke from the day prior saying she had landed safely was still unanswered.

“For someone who just sold in a solid plan, you don’t look so happy,” Lincoln said as he put their drinks down and reclaimed his seat at the table.

“Thanks, Linc,” she nodded her drink at her coworker before taking a sip, “I’m fine. Just some other things going on.”

The man nodded, “Anything you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know. Clarke’s just annoyed with me because I’ve been gone so much, I don’t know what to do to make it better.”

“For two people who are just friends, you definitely have the problems of people that are in an actual relationship,” he laughed.

Lexa clenched her jaw as she stared at him.

“Sorry, not funny,” he conceded, “But did you ever stop to think about why she’s actually upset? Maybe she has feelings for you.”

“There’s no way,” Lexa rolled her eyes, “we’re best friends.”

Lincoln nodded, “Listen, I don’t want to meddle here, so I’m just going to give you my two cents and then we can move on, okay?” He waited for her to nod before he continued, “ Think about what’s most important to you and prioritize that. If it’s work, talk to Clarke to manage her expectations. If it’s Clarke’s feelings and your guys’ friendship, or whatever this is, all you have to do is tell Titus that the travel has been too much for you and that you need to cut it down a little so you can better balance your work and personal life. You just need to decide which one takes precedence.”

“Right,” Lexa sighed, “that’s the hard part.”

Lincoln raised a brow, “Choosing?”

“No,” she exhaled, “coming to terms with my choice.”

The man smiled, “I see.”

Lexa gulped the rest of her whiskey down and stared into the bottom of the glass, “I think I need another drink.”

\---

It was a handy trick, she had to admit that. Taking a photo of her room number whenever she checked into a hotel had become an instinctual thing for Lexa. With the amount of traveling she did, and after confusing room numbers on her first few trips, it had become second nature to her.

She pulled out her phone in the elevator to double check that she was going to the correct floor when she realized she had a notification for an unread text.

The first thing that popped into her mind: Clarke.

The actuality of the situation: Titus.

He wrote to her asking if she could extend her trip by an additional day and instead of returning home after these string of meetings, fly direct to the Dallas office for three days.

“Fuck.”

The moment Lexa got into her room, she stripped down to ready herself for bed and took her phone back out. She drafted a response to Titus, edited it three times, and finally sent it. She toggled to her unanswered text to Clarke who she now had to write a message to: _I’m sorry, I miss you and wish that I was home._

\---

The flight back to Polis had Lexa in a bundle of nerves. It was comical that she had to travel as much as she did because she really did hate airplanes. She still hadn’t heard from Clarke. The cab ride to their apartment was no better, she was playing every possible scenario in her mind of how the conversation was going to go. She had zoned so far out that the cab driver had to call out to her three times that they had arrived at her destination.

It was noon on a Thursday, Clarke should be home—likely set up at the coffee table in the living room working on whatever project she had assigned to her this week. As she turned the key through the lock and slowly pushed the door open, in anticipation to meet eyes with the person that had been ignoring her, all she found was an empty apartment.

Lexa sighed as she looked around: no Clarke and no sign that Clarke had been working from the apartment that morning. She went straight to her room, leaving her suitcase in the corner—she would deal with that later. She found a pen and paper, wanting to write Clarke a note, when she realized her closet door was open. She walked over and saw that a few things had been moved, likely from her rushed packing job, closed it, and headed to the blonde’s room to drop the piece of paper off.

When she opened the door, she was caught off guard by the sight before her. Clarke seemed to still be asleep, but peeking out between her messy golden hair, sheets, and blankets, was Lexa’s childhood stuffed raccoon: a stuffed animal that had acted like a security blanket for the brunette throughout the years.

The scene in front of her tugged at her heart in a way she didn’t know was possible, a way she couldn’t even describe. She took one more look at Clarke before climbing next to her in bed and draping her arm around the blonde’s waist.

Clarke stirred and immediately turned around when she realized someone was laying next to her, “Lex?”

Lexa suddenly lost her words, “Hi.”

“You’re home? You weren’t supposed to come back until tomorrow,” the blonde pointed out.

Lexa sighed, “Actually, last night, Titus asked if I could stay until Saturday and then go directly to Dallas for a few days.”

Clare furrowed her brow, “But you’re home?”

“I am,” Lexa nodded, “I told him I had some things to take care of, Linc is covering the rest of the meetings for me and doing the Dallas trip.”

“Why?”

“You are the most important person in my life and I never wanted you to feel like I was abandoning you. I know it was my idea to come here and that I had to talk you into it,” Lexa sighed, “You were right with what you said before I left. It’s not fair that I did this to you. I needed to apologize to your face and it couldn’t wait until after Dallas.”

Clarke’s brow was still furrowed, “You cancelled two work trips to tell me all this, Lex?”

“I told you, it couldn’t wait. You weren’t talking to me, Clarke,” Lexa started, tears starting to well in her eyes, “We’ve never not talked before, you’ve never ignored me before. It made me realize some things.”

Clarke’s eyes met Lexa’s, “Like what?”

“That I missed you, that I never want you to feel that way again, that I love you.”

The blonde nodded, “I love you too, Lex-”

“No,” Lexa cut her off, “I don’t think you get it. I love you, Clarke. This fight? Realizing how I was making you feel? It brought perspective to things. I love you, I am in love with you.”

As Lexa made her proclamation, her eyes immediately darted away from Clarke’s, utterly afraid of how the blonde would take it.

In the silence of the moment, she felt arms snake around her side, pulling her closer towards the blonde and the stuffed raccoon.

“Me too,” Clarke whispered, “I’m in love with you, too.”


	5. The Halloween Party AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Tumblr Prompt: Can you write modern au clexa at a Halloween party. So our costumes match and my friend keeps telling me to come take a photo but oh shit you're hot
> 
> \---
> 
> A collection of drabbles and ficlets from Tumblr prompts.
> 
> Feel free to drop me a line there and submit one!  
cantgetoutofmyheda.tumblr.com

To say Clarke was pissed would be an understatement. Fall was her favorite season for so many reasons—being able to layer with cute sweaters, pumpkin spiced lattes, apple picking, and Halloween. She was pissed because for the first time, Raven actually beat her at beer pong. It was a weekly ritual in their apartment—everyone came over on Saturday nights and they’d play, watch movies, and just hang out.

Knowing that they were scoring an invite to Octavia’s new boyfriend’s Halloween party, Raven decided to up the ante and forced Clarke into a bet: winner got to choose the loser’s costume. The blonde, however, felt confident. She already had her costume all planned out: Stevie Nicks; she had gone to every vintage store in the city to find every piece she needed to complete her look. Raven’s never beat her, not once in the five years they had known each other, so she had nothing to worry about.

Or so she thought.

—

“You know what,” Clarke groaned as she buttoned her top button, “I don’t think I’m going to come anymore.”

“A bet’s a bet, Griff,” Raven laughed, “And if memory serves me correct, your costume will be fully complete once you have the accent.”

“I’m not doing the accent, Rae,” the blonde whined, “I’m not coming.”

“You’re definitely coming, we told O we’d go for moral support. Plus, if Lincoln’s friends are as hot as he is, maybe we’ll both score tonight,” Raven shrugged, finishing the final touches for her own costume.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Well of course you’re going to meet someone, you’re dressed like a slutty Lara Croft.”

“It’s not slutty, Griff,” the brunette began to defend herself, “This is literally what she wore.”

“I look like I’m about to wrestle an alligator,” Clarke huffed, “no one’s even going to know who I am.” 

Raven turned to smirk at her friend, “That’s what the accent’s for, babe. And the name tag.”

“Name tag?” Clarke turned around to face Raven but was met with the girl slapping a sticker across the front of her khaki jumpsuit: Bindi Irwin.

—

“I didn’t realize Clarke could do an Australian accent,” Octavia observed, as the blonde went over to get herself another drink.

“Me neither,” Raven laughed, “Honestly, I thought it would be embarrassing for her, but homegirl’s making it work in her favor.”

“Honestly,” Lincoln chimed into the conversation, “if I hadn’t met her before this, I would have thought she was actually from there.”

“I wonder if Griff would take me up on another game of beer pong, I have another bet in mind,” Raven said, eyes on the game set up across the room.

Octavia smacked her on the back of her head, “She’s already pissed about this bet, you idiot. Don’t make her more mad than she already is, I don’t want her leaving here.”

Lincoln laughed at his girlfriend, “Yeah, and the party’s just getting started. Don’t want her storming out just yet.”

—

“I can’t believe I’m wearing this,” Lexa murmured as they approached Lincoln’s front door.

Her older sister rolled her eyes, “It’s a Halloween party, Lex. You needed a costume. You’re welcome, by the way.”

“You want me to thank you for giving me your pajamas?” Lexa cocked a brow.

“Don’t be a little shit,” Anya nudged her, “You don’t have to stay long, Linc just wanted us to meet his girl, then you can take the damn thing off and go out to whatever thing it was you had tonight.”

“It wasn’t a thing,” Lexa rolled her eyes, “the bartender from the other week is working again and she was hot. You ruined it by getting too drunk because I had to take you home. I’m just working on my second shot.”

“Okay,” Anya said, finally opening the door, “so stay for an hour and then you can go and try to get laid.”

—

“Holy shit, who is that?” Raven asked, mouth agape as she stared at a female Indiana Jones talking to Lincoln and Octavia.

Clarke looked where Raven’s eyes were already drawn to, “I dunno, mate, but she looks like Indiana Jones.”

“Clarke,” Raven smiled, turning her attention to her friend and putting her hand on her shoulder, “I am so glad you’re finally embracing the awesomeness of your costume.”

The blonde took a sip of her drink, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”

“Would it be rude if I interrupted their conversation right now?” Raven asked, looking back in the direction of the other group, “I feel like I can get a proper intro this way.”

“Shoot your shot, Lara,” Clarke laughed.

Raven grabbed her arm, “Okay, well you’re coming with me.”

They made their way to the trio and Lincoln introduced them all. As soon as Anya took notice of Clarke’s nametag, she couldn’t help but laugh, “This is amazing. This is fucking amazing.”

Clarke arched a brow, “Oh?”

“Have you seen my sister around here?” Anya asked, trying to calm herself down.

“Ahn,” Lincoln started, “they just met you. How would they know who Lexa is?”

“Figured they would have recognized her, considering she’s matching Bindi over here,” Anya gestured towards the blonde.

Raven directed her attention to Anya, “Please tell me she’s dressed as Steve Irwin.”

“Nope,” the girl shook her head, “but you’ll know her when you see her. I’m going to go get a drink, anyone need anything?”

Raven looked at Clarke and mouthed, “This is it,” before telling Anya she’d accompany her.

As the two made their way to the bar cart, Anya was the one that broke the silence, “Lara Croft, huh?”

Raven looked the girl up and down, “Indiana Jones, huh?”

“A very bad joke could be made about our costumes right now,” Anya smirked as she poured herself a drink.

“Or a very good pick up line,” Raven offered.

“Try me.”

Raven was never one to back down from a challenge, “I know you raided the lost ark, but I’d raid your tomb any day.”

Without saying a word, Anya stepped out of the way so the other girl could make her drink of choice.

“So?” Raven asked, mixing her cocktail.

Anya raised a brow, “So what?”

“Did it work?” Raven asked, sipping her whiskey and soda.

“Hmm,” Anya brought her finger to her chin, “Yeah, I think it did. Find me for a dance later,” she winked then walked away.

Raven rushed to find Clarke—in her haste, she ran into what seemed to be a big green blanket, “Shit, sorry.”

The figure turned to face Raven, but their face was hidden in the depths of the overly large onesie, “No worries, though it’s kind of hard to miss me.”

“You must be Anya’s sister,” Raven pointed out, “the crocodile.”

“That I am,” the voice said, “on both accounts, I guess.”

“You should meet my friend,” Raven laughed, “your costumes go together weirdly well.”

“I’m heading out soon, but maybe I’ll catch them around,” the voice offered before walking away.

—

“Clarke,” Raven grabbed the blonde who was in the middle of a conversation with what seemed to be someone dressed up as Han Solo, “come with me.”

Clarke excused herself before turning her attention to Raven, “What the fuck, Rae?”

“I ran into Anya’s sister—Anya totally wants me, by the way, but that’s besides the point,” she let out in one breath, “You need to see her costume, I need a picture of you guys together.”

“What’s she dressed as?” Clarke asked, still unamused by the interruption.

“You’ll know when you see her,” Raven laughed, “I have an idea for a bet.”

“No. No way, Rae,” Clarke stepped back, “I’m not doing that with you again, look at where it got me.”

Raven grabbed her by the arms, “If she’s as hot as Anya, you’d totally thank me for this little get up of yours.”

“If?” Clarke questioned, “I thought you said you met her?”

“Well,” Raven shrugged, “I did, but I couldn’t see her face because of her-”

“Oh my God,” Clarke interrupted her, “is that a crocodile? Is that Anya’s sister?”

“Griff,” Raven pulled her attention back, “I will give you $50 if you jump on top of her and pretend to wrangle her.”

Clarke’s felt like her eyes were about to launch out of their sockets, “That’s assault, you psycho. I don’t even know her, I’m not doing that.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt,” Anya’s voice entered, “but my sister basically made a comment about wanting to be under a hot girl tonight. You can make her dreams come true.”

“I’m not doing this,” Clarke shook her head.

Raven reached into her pocket and pulled out cash, “C’mon, Griff. Pretty please. It’ll be the best Halloween memory we’ll ever have.”

“Yeah, until she realizes a strange is jumping her and punches me in the face,” Clarke quipped back.

Anya laughed, “She wouldn’t. I know her better than anyone, she’ll get a good laugh out of it once she sees your costume.”

The blonde looked between the two, before gulping down her drink, followed by Raven’s. She grabbed the cash her friend was dangling, “I’m probably going to regret this.”

Before she knew it, she was right behind the crocodile. She quietly crept closer, to be at a more favorable distance to make her $50 entrance. From her vantage point, the girl wasn’t holding anything that she would spill, and there wasn’t anyone directly in front of her that would get trampled on in case they fell. Clarke took a deep breath—it was now or never.

—

Lexa stood there checking her phone, she had almost been there for forty-five minutes, and wondered if that was an acceptable amount of time before she dashed out. As she began to walk forward, she heard a rather loud Australian voice call out from behind her.

“G’day, little croc!”

Before she knew it, she was face down on the ground with the weight of a body sitting on top of her. “Oof,” and a loud groan was all she could muster out.

The voice spoke up again, “Didn’t know I’d get me a live one today, mate.”

The weight finally lifted off of her and a set of arms pulled her back to her feet. She took the hood of the onesie off her head to get a better look at the situation, but saw that it was her sister that pulled her up, “What the fuck was that, Ahn?”

Anya couldn’t control her laughter, as she pointed behind where Lexa was standing. She took the cue to turn around and was met with Clarke’s bashful grin.

“They made me do it,” was all the blonde could get out. Raven was right, and Clarke made a mental note to thank her friend for forcing her into the outfit because this girl was the most attractive crocodile she had ever seen, “I’m Clarke, but you can call me ‘Bindi.’”

“Ah,” Lexa said, examining the girl, “I see how this makes sense, now. I’m Lexa, by the way, but I guess you can call me ‘crocodile.’”

Raven looked between the two who seemed to be staring at each other, “Just to be clear, no one made her do anything. I bet her $50 and she took it fair and square.”

“$50, huh?” Lexa asked, eyes still locked on the blonde’s.

Clarke smirked, “Want to split the winnings for your troubles?”

“Or we can get out of here and you can buy me a drink?”

“Deal,” Clarke put out her hand.

Lexa took her hand to shake it, “One question, though. Is the accent real?”

Clarke shrugged, “It can be if you want it to be.”


	6. "Protective, Stop, Approach"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Tumblr Prompt: Clexa three word prompt—Protective, Stop, Approach
> 
> \---
> 
> A collection of drabbles and ficlets from Tumblr prompts.
> 
> Feel free to drop me a line there and submit one!  
cantgetoutofmyheda.tumblr.com

The music was loud as the group entered the venue—it wasn’t their typical kind of haunt for a Friday night, but they wanted to mix things up a bit. In all fairness, nothing had been typical in the past few months: Octavia had started dating Lexa’s cousin, Lincoln, and with Lexa and Clarke newly broken up, the dynamic of the group had somewhat shifted. For the sake of the friendships at stake, Lexa and Clarke ended things as amicably as possible, ensuring to the group that they were both mature enough to not bring their drama into the circle they had all fostered.

It’s wasn’t easy, though. It never is when a nearly year-long relationship ends. There wasn’t even anyone to truly fault—there were no infidelities, no wandering eyes, it was more so a clash of schedules that led to less quality time spent together. It was more so one being available when the other wasn’t.

It wasn’t every weekend that the group would be blessed with both Clarke and Lexa at the same time; this was a rare occurrence, one that only happened once or twice a month, but again, the pair found a way to amicably tread the harsh waters.

Lexa squeezed her way into the small booth of the nightclub, making sure not to sit directly next to or across from her ex, “Why did we come here, again?”

“Because I wanted to dance,” Bellamy smirked, pushing a wisp of hair away from his eyesight.

Raven laughed, “Correction: Bellamy wanted to find some excuse to grind on a stranger.”

Clarke rolled her eyes at the conversation, “So is this a bottle service kind of thing, or do we need to go to the bar? I think I need a drink.”

“I’m not sure,” Lexa instinctively responded, “but I think I do, too.”

“Oh, look,” Octavia smirked, “something they both agree on,” causing laughter around the table, and earning glares from both women.

—

“Come on, Rae, I love this song,” Bellamy sipped his drink before he stood up and extended his hand to his friend, “I need someone to dance with.”

The woman arched her brow, “You’re just going to leave me as soon as you find some girl to flirt with.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “but then you can go find some other girl or guy to do the same.”

She looked at him in question before a smirk pulled at her lips, “Sounds good to me.”

The two made their way to the dance floor, joining Clarke, Monty, and Jasper—the three were happily dancing as a group, drinks in hand and smiles plastered on their faces.

Lexa, Lincoln, and Octavia were now alone in the booth, under strict orders to “get another bottle as soon as possible” because the group was growing thirstier and the tequila had dwindled down.

“How’re you doing, Lex? Lincoln turned to his cousin, “you look good, by the way. Happier.”

She nodded, “Yeah, I’m good, thanks. Think the tequila might be the reason for the happy part,” she laughed.

Octavia turned her attention to the conversation, “I’m glad we’re all still able to do this,” she smiled, “still hang as a group and have it not be weird.”

“Oh,” Lexa huffed as she took the last sip of her drink, “it’s definitely weird, at least it is for me. But we agreed to try and not make it weird for anyone else.”

“Well,” Octavia offered her a small smile, “it’s wildly appreciated. I’m sure as time goes on, the weirdness will go away and you guys will be able to actually be friends again.”

Lexa let out a breath of air, “Yeah, we’ll see.”

As the conversation came to a lull, the song transitioned into something a little more sensual. The three turned their eyes to the dance floor, still waiting on that new bottle of tequila for the table, until they saw their cluster of friends spewed about: Jasper and Monty were both being passed around a group of girls, wide smirks clad on their faces, Bellamy had sauntered off in the distance, he likely found a new dance partner, and Raven and Clarke seemed to have been swaying to the music together, until two guys made their way to them, starting to dance their way between the pair.

Lexa immediately looked away, hoping the server would be back with the bottle of golden liquid she had been waiting for. She wasn’t naive—she knew Clarke probably flirted with people when she went out, and she damn well knew that Clarke was probably hit on a lot. In layman’s terms, Clarke was the most exquisite thing she had ever seen—it was inevitable for other people to come to that same conclusion.

The song seemed to be about halfway through when the two men finally got Raven and Clarke to themselves. Raven was moving her body fluidly with the man at her hand, whereas Clarke and her now-dance partner seemed to be in some sort of flirtatious conversation. The blonde had just whipped her head back in laughter—a vision that had Lexa feeling like she was just punched in the gut. She sat there, merely observing the scene unfold before her; the guy clearly wasn’t sober, but again, neither was anyone else. She saw how he continued to lightly stumble and then catch himself, she saw how he would start to touch the blonde a little more as each minute passed. As much as she didn’t want it to happen, something inside of her was brewing.

The music had changed over, but the sentiment of it remained the same. She knew Clarke and the man she was dancing with would continue whatever it was they were doing into the next song. Lexa eagerly tapped her fingers on the table, antsy and wishing the server would just come back so she could make another drink. When he finally appeared and placed the bottle on the table, Lexa immediately grabbed it and gave herself a refill.

“Thirsty?” Lincoln raised a brow at his cousin, letting his eyes glance to the bottle in her hand.

She scoffed, “You could say that.”

Octavia looked at the other brunette then let her eyes wander to the dance floor, she obviously had an idea of what caused the mood shift of her friend, “Oh.”

“What?” Lincoln asked, his gaze now gandering to where Octavia’s were, “Oh.”

Lexa shook her head, “It’s fine. I’m fine. I just need to get over it.”

Octavia turned back towards her, “Get over what, exactly?”

“I don’t know,” she confessed, “everything, I guess.”

Lexa made it a point to face away from Octavia and Lincoln, their sympathetic looks weren’t what she needed at that moment. She realized that what she turned to find wasn’t what she needed either—Clarke was still dancing with the man, but Lexa noticed that his hand kept creeping up her sides, while the blonde kept trying to subtly brush them away. Something inside of her lit up—at first it was jealousy, next came the feeling of still being protective of her ex, having the need to dissipate what seemed to be an unwanted advance.

Lexa immediately set down her drink and stood up, “I’ll be right back,” she offered, before walking straight in Clarke’s direction.

“Oh no,” Octavia tugged at Lincoln’s arm as the woman walked away, “is this going to be as bad as I think it’s going to be?”

The man winced at the sight, “Probably.”

—

“Hey,” Clarke heard a familiar voice calling from behind her. Before the blonde was able to react, she felt the arms of her dance partner being yanked off her body and felt her ex wedging herself between the two.

“Lexa,” Clarke swatted the woman, “what the fu–”

“Get your hands off her,” the brunette commanded at the man, “now.”

He stumbled back in shock, “Woah, calm down, lady. We were just having a good time, nothing to worry about over here.”

“It doesn’t seem that way,” Lexa balked, “she didn’t want your hands there, but you kept pushing. Get the fuck out of here before I make you.”

The man shook his head before he slurred, “I was just trying to have a good time, I didn’t know some crazy bitch would come at me like this.”

“Don’t call her that,” Clarke interjected, surprising both herself and Lexa by defending the woman.

The man almost lost his balance as he walked away, not wanting to deal with the shit show that was starting to brew.

“Clarke,” Lexa finally exhaled, “thank you–”

“No, Lexa,” Clarke halted her, “don’t. You have no right. You lost that right when you broke things off. You don’t get to pop in and out as you please and pretend to rescue me when it’s convenient for you.”

Lexa opened her mouth to speak, but the blonde didn’t give her a second to chime in.

Clarke shook her head, “You need to stop, okay? We said we would be fine in group settings, but you coming to barge in while I’m trying to have a good time is going to make me not want to be in these settings with you at all.””

There was a softness in Lexa’s face, now. Her expression had shifted at hearing that her ex was actually enjoying what was going on, “I… I just saw him moving his hands on you, and I saw you moving them away. I just thought he was making you uncomfortable.”

“I can take care of myself, Lexa,” Clarke’s arms were crossed, “I learned how to do that when we were together, since I was on my own for most of the time, anyway.”

Lexa let out a loud breath of air as she rolled her eyes, “That’s not fair and you know it. It was on you just as much as it was on me, Clarke.”

“I’m not the one that walked away,” the blonde narrowed her eyes, “that was you.”

Lexa clenched her jaw at the accusation, but before she could respond, Clarke was already making her way back to the table. The blonde wasn’t wrong, per say—Lexa was the one to bring up the two ending things, but Clarke wasn’t necessarily the victim. The blonde had pushed and pushed and pushed until Lexa reached her breaking point. She had thrown things in Lexa’s face and made a habit of lashing out on her then-girlfriend. Clarke knew what she was doing—she didn’t want to be the one to call it quits, so she acted out until Lexa reached her breaking point.

As she stood there and watched Clarke nestle into her seat with Lincoln and Octavia, there was only one thought on her mind: _I’m not the one that didn’t fight for us._

Not sure where to go—and knowing she likely wasn’t welcome back at the table until Clarke had some time to vent and cool off, she moseyed over to a quieter corner of the club. Thoughts couldn’t help but flood her mind: _Clarke was having fun. Clarke didn’t need Lexa anymore. Clarke looked happy. Clarke let Lexa walk away, but has somehow managed to find peace with it._

The thoughts were unsettling, causing the brunette’s mind to spiral. Lexa had her fair share of time to find her own happiness, as well, but she hadn’t reached the place of peace that Clarke seemed to have achieved already. She wasn’t certain about a lot of things, but there was one thing she knew for sure. In that moment, realized how badly she missed her ex.

Lexa nodded to herself, she knew she had to apologize and talk to the blonde—not just about what had happened minutes ago, but about every feeling that was bottling up inside of her. She took a step forward, ready to approach the table, when she realized Clarke was no longer sitting there. Her eyes wandered to the dance floor, she spotted Bellamy, Raven, Monty, and Jasper. She even spotted the man that she had just deterred from her ex, but still no sign of Clarke.

“Shit,” she muttered to herself, Clarke had probably left. She shook her head and decided to move back towards the table—she figured she should probably head some soon, there wasn’t much left at this club for her anyway.

Halfway to her destination, she felt a hand on her shoulder, “There you are, I couldn’t find you.”

Lexa immediately turned around at Clarke’s voice. The two shared a sad look, neither of them wanting to be the first to speak.

“I–” they both started at the same time, thankful for the ease of tension.

Lexa took a step away, wanting to get a better look at the blonde, “You go first, Clarke.”

Clarke nodded as she bit her bottom lip, “I know I said you had no right, Lex.”

The brunette closed her eyes at the sound of the nickname. He mind raced backwards in time, and she couldn’t place the last time Clarke had referred to her that way. When she opened her eyes to find the blonde’s, she nodded, “It was true, though. You were right, I don’t.”

“The thing is,” Clarke looked away, “I still want you to.”

The brunette’s eyes widened at the confession, she furrowed her brow, “Clarke. I… It felt like you were pushing me away so that I would just end it, which I did. You… you didn’t come after me when I left.”

Clarke took a step closer to the brunette. She placed her hands on either side of Lexa’s arms, “Is this okay?”

Lexa nodded, her mouth was slightly agape, still not fully understanding what was unfolding in front of her. Before she could say anything, Clarke took another step towards her.

“I’m sorry for how I acted at the end,” Clarke started, “and I’m fairly certain that if I didn’t try so hard to push you away, I could have placed my efforts into trying to make things better.”

“But I–” Lexa tried.

“Wait,” Clarke interrupted her, “I know neither of us are innocent in this, but I can’t help but think about what would have happened if we really tried—if we worked as a unit instead of trying to both stubbornly get our way one hundred percent of the time.”

“Me too,” Lexa whispered.

Clarke took one more step, bringing her forehead to rest on Lexa’s, “What if we tried that?”

Lexa felt a small smile creep onto her face, “You would be open to that?”

“Yes, and I really hope you are, too,” the blonde moved her head to nestle into the crook of Lexa’s neck.

The brunette rubbed her chin atop Clarke’s nest of soft, golden hair, “That’s the only thing I want.”


	7. I'm Not Asking You, I'm Telling You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Tumblr Prompt: "i'm not asking you, I'm telling you"
> 
> \---
> 
> A collection of drabbles and ficlets from Tumblr prompts.
> 
> Feel free to drop me a line there and submit one!  
cantgetoutofmyheda.tumblr.com

Clarke’s eyes met the green in Lexa’s. It felt like an eternity, but in actuality, the brunette had only been gone for a few days—something about a business trip, but the arrangement between the two never really constituted for reasoning whenever one of them disappeared for a few days at a time.

“Seems like you missed me,” Lexa smirked, pulling away from Clarke’s hungry lips, “I should go away more often, I suppose.”

“Don’t you dare,” Clarke growled, pulling Lexa back in, nearly smashing their mouths together.

The two were in rivalry sororities during college—they never really knew each other, only knew of each other. It wasn’t until the end of their senior year when a frat hosted a formal and each girl attended—Clarke, on the arm of her then-boyfriend, Finn, and Lexa, on the arm of her longtime best friend, Lincoln. It turned out that the combination of too much jungle juice, Finn being too flirty and handsy with every other girl at the party, and Lexa’s cocky, shit-eating grin led Clarke down a road she never thought she’d travel on.

Ever since that night, the two had an unspoken agreement: sex whenever each of them pleased.

The arrangement suited them both. Lexa had signed on to start a job straight out of school—her business degree put her at the hands of a highly acclaimed consultant agency, one that had clients all over the world. Clarke’s plans of joining an art gallery co-op kept the girl busy almost every night of the week—painting and sculpting, making sure she always had enough pieces for the space allotted to her works. Neither of them really had time for anyone else, let alone time to meet anyone else. Both were content with spending the odd night together, feeding the fires inside of them that they had both learned to unleash at the flick of the wrist.

Lexa let out a small laugh into the kiss in response to Clarke’s aggression. She had a tendency to be the hungrier one, leaving Clarke to be the one always showing just a little more affection.

This time, it was Clarke that pulled away, “What are you laughing at?”

Lexa smirked, “Nothing.”

“Tell me, or we’re stopping,” Clarke attempted to give her a stern look.

“I just find it amusing at how badly you want it, Clarke. And by the feel of it,” Lexa bit her bottom lip before she dipped her hand under the waistband of Clarke’s underwear, “you really, really want it.”

The feeling of Lexa’s fingers gliding quickly over her wetness took Clarke’s body by surprise. The blonde didn’t realize it, but she let out a moan and shifted herself to keep Lexa’s hand right where she needed it. Like clockwork, Lexa pulled her lips into another smirk as she slid her fingers upwards towards the blonde’s clit.

Clarke widened her legs, now fully sitting in Lexa’s lap, and threw her head back at the sensation. “Yes, Lexa,” the blonde moaned. This was exactly the feeling she had missed the past four days—the jolts of electricity that unfurled on her skin whenever Lexa’s skin touched hers.

Lexa used her other hand to pull Clarke closer towards her, as her other never stopping the movement she knew drove the blonde wild. She brought her lips to her neck, leaving trails of soft kisses down to her collarbone as Clarke continued to grind down harder on her.

Clarke’s hand found refuge in the brunette’s hair, softly pulling and tugging, letting the woman know she was more than enjoying their afternoon rendezvous. A loud moan escaped Clarke’s mouth as she exhaled, and as soon as the sound left her mouth, she immediately felt Lexa enter her with two fingers.

“Fuck,” Clarke gasped, pulling a handful of hair, causing the brunette’s head to jerk up towards her.

“Yes, Clarke,” Lexa mumbled as her lips were still on the blonde’s hot skin, “I believe that’s what I’m doing.”

Clarke took another breath, “Shut up, don’t ruin this.”

“Ruin what, beautiful?” Lexa asked—the look in her eyes and softness in her voice started making Clarke feel a certain way.

The blonde grabbed the back of Lexa’s neck to pull her into a kiss, “My orgasm.”

“I’d never dream of doing that,” Lexa peppered between kisses.

Clarke slid her tongue across the brunette’s bottom lip before fully plunging it inside her mouth. Lexa’s fingers started moving at a fast pace, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold it in much longer. She needed this release, she’s needed it ever since the last one.

Clarke gasped as she ground down further onto Lexa’s hand, “Another finger, Lex. I’m so close.”

Lexa moved her lips back to Clarke’s neck, kissing her way to the blonde’s ear before she nipped at it, “How bad do you want it, Clarke?”

The blonde took her hand and reached between her legs, guiding Lexa to add a third finger to help take her over the edge, “I'm not asking you, I’m telling you.”

Lexa felt herself getting even more turned on at the blonde’s forwardness, “Whatever you need, babe.”

As the brunette thrusted into her again, she curled her fingers to rub against Clarke’s front wall, knowing it would send the girl in her arms spiraling.

“Lex,” Clarke huffed at the contact, “Fuck, Lex. Yes.”

“Come for me,” Lexa whispered.

Clarke accepted the command and let herself become undone. Her body shuddered then went limp on top of Lexa’s as the brunette caught her to help her stay upright.

Lexa kissed the corner of Clarke’s mouth, “Really, Clarke. I should definitely go away more often.”


	8. Calm Down, I'm Right Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Tumblr Prompt: "Calm down, I'm right here."
> 
> \---
> 
> A collection of drabbles and ficlets from Tumblr prompts.
> 
> Feel free to drop me a line there and submit one!  
cantgetoutofmyheda.tumblr.com

The orchestral hum of cicadas and crickets provided the sort of ambient white noise made for sound sleeping. This fact didn’t go unnoticed by the two girls strewn across the king-sized bed. Though large in both height and length, sparing enough room for them both to have their own space, the pair laid entangled towards the edge—limbs crisscrossed like pretzels, hands intertwined to ensure they wouldn’t move from the sides of one another.

It had been like this for well over two weeks now—the blonde unable to fall asleep, and Lexa coaxing her into a slumber that only lasted a mere few hours. Clarke had honestly thought it was a good idea, that it was a good time to finally talk to her mother. To be frank, she thought Abby had already known—she always had that sense of a mother’s intuition when it came to her daughter, how would this time be any different.

Clarke was catastrophically wrong.

At first, she thought her mother’s reaction was a joke—_I’d rather be dead than have a gay daughter_. Clarke corrected her with a joking smirk on her face, explaining that there was a difference between being a _lesbian_ and being _bisexual_. It wasn’t until her mother stood up and walked away that she realized the severity of it all: Abby wanted nothing more to do with her.

Clarke immediately ran out of the house, her tears were free-flowing down her face. She called Lexa and between sobs, managed to ask her girlfriend to come pick her up—Abby made it clear her financial ties to her daughter were severed, Clarke was to leave the family car in the driveway, take what she needed from her childhood bedroom, and go back to her apartment to fend for herself.

As the days passed by, Lexa doted on Clarke more than ever before. She wanted to make sure the blonde knew that she had a support system for this—she also wanted Clarke to know that at some point, her mother would probably come around. Maybe not with a grandiose apology, but perhaps a slow and gradual understanding of what shunning her daughter truly meant.

A week had gone by since Clarke had last seen or heard from Abby, and in that week, Lexa managed to do her best to ensure the blonde’s everyday life wasn’t stunted. She would drive her car-less girlfriend to and from work—she had even done her best to transform their tiny apartment into a more homier environment. Clarke had always referred to their shared space as _the apartment_ and the house she grew up in as _home_. However, with the recent turn of events, Lexa and their small one-bedroom quickly turned into the latter.

It was another quiet night at home, they had just finished dinner and Lexa offered to clean up and load the dishwasher. From the next room over, the brunette heard a phone notification and a gasp. She immediately shot her head up, and was met with Clarke racing into the kitchen.

“My mom sent me a text message, Lex.”

Lexa slowly nodded, “And?”

“I don’t know,” the fear on Clarke’s fake broke Lexa’s heart, “I haven’t opened it yet.”

“Okay,” Lexa calmly said as she closed the dishwasher—the rest of it could wait for later, “why don’t we go sit down. I’ll be right by your side while you read it, love. Okay?”

Clarke nodded as she followed the brunette to the couch. The two were now seated, shoulders brushed, and Lexa quickly wrapped the other girl in her arm.

_You’re lucky your father has already passed, because this would have put him in the grave._

Clarke dropped the phone to the ground and tears, non-foreign to nights at home, started to roll down her flushed cheeks. She couldn’t wrap her head around how this was all unfolding. This was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of her life—she had landed the job of her dreams, she had the means to finally move out of her childhood home, and she found the person that she was certain she was going to spend the rest of her life with. It was unnerving that the last thing, quite possibly the best of the three, was the one to turn her own flesh and blood away from her.

“Clarke,” Lexa pulled the girl in tighter, “I love you so much. So, so much. I’m so sorry. It won’t be like this forever, she’s your mother—you guys will figure it out.”

It was easy for Lexa to say. The brunette immediately felt guilty that Clarke knew how easy her coming out story was. Her parents welcomed her with open arms, told her that her sexuality didn’t define who she was, that she would always be _their Lexa_. Her sister, the witty one that she was, even organized a surprise “coming out” party, clad with a rainbow-shaped cake and posters of pinup girls. As Lexa thought back, all she wanted to do was trade places with the girl in her arms, to stop the hurt that had consumed Clarke, to finally bring the girl some slight offering of peace.

“Let’s go to bed, love,” Lexa stood up, bringing the blonde with her, “you should try and get some rest.”

The night went as every night had gone—Lexa had opened the windows, allowing a cool breeze to sweep over the room, inviting the sounds of nature outside to try and help her girlfriend fall asleep. She curled behind her and held her tight, tried her best not to fall asleep before Clarke did, wanting to make sure the girl was actually able to get some rest. However, like every other night, Lexa woke up to Clarke thrashing next to her. She was still sound asleep, but the distress from her dreams turned her body into crashing waves.

“Love,” Lexa whispered, gently moving her hand from the blonde’s to the side of her face, “love, wake up.”

Clarke was still in the midst of her nightmare, blonde hair matted to her forehead, tears forming at the corners of her eyelids.

“It’s just a dream,” Lexa said a little louder, she was now sitting upright, pulling the weight of the girl beneath her to do the same, “Wake up, Clarke.”

The blonde’s eyes fluttered open, droplets of water now trickling down her face. She looked around and was met with Lexa’s soft smile—her body was still trembling, still shaking from the realness of her dream.

“Hey, love,” Lexa greeted her, “calm down, I’m right here,” she offered as she pulled her into an embrace, “I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”


	9. Make Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Tumblr Prompt: "Make me."
> 
> \---
> 
> A collection of drabbles and ficlets from Tumblr prompts.
> 
> Feel free to drop me a line there and submit one!  
cantgetoutofmyheda.tumblr.com

“Quit it,” Lexa said to the group at her table, as she swept her hair over her shoulder.

Anya laughed, “Oh come on, Lex. You know it’s true.”

She was right—Lexa definitely knew it was true. But she also knew she wasn’t generally doing anything wrong. Wedding season was finally winding down, this one being the last before the late summer heat turned into crisp, autumnal air. To be fair, it had been a long year for the brunette—her three-year relationship ended in the spring, she was fresh into a new promotion at work that had been keeping her extra hours at the office, and it seemed that she had a wedding nearly every weekend that summer.

Lexa turned to face her, “It is true, but it’s not like there’s anything wrong with it.”

“Well,” Lincoln chimed in, “there was that one wedding you left before dinner was even served.”

She shook her head and threw her hands in the air, “It was 10:30! I was tired, it wasn’t my fault that the food hadn’t come out yet.”

“Lex,” Anya laughed, “there’s nothing wrong with leaving a wedding before it ends, you just do it all the time. You can’t get mad that we’re trying to monetize on the fact that you do it.”

She rolled her eyes, “It’s rude that you guys are putting bets on when you think I’m going to go home.”

Anya leaned in closer to her younger cousin and wrapped an arm around her, “Just embrace it, kid. These things get a little boring after a while, you should be happy you’re giving us some form of entertainment.”

\---

It was Lexa’s turn to go up to the bar and get the next round of drinks. She was thankful that it was a smaller wedding—there were still a good amount of people there, but it meant she wouldn’t have to wait too long to get the bartender’s attention.

The three cousins were childhood friends of the bride. Their families were very close to Echo’s—they were always in the same carpool circle, always on the same sports teams, and there were frequent dinner parties between the four households. Like many childhood friendships, when the group got older and started moving away to different colleges, they slowly grew apart. There was always the odd drink during school breaks and bringing baked goods to each other's houses over the holidays that kept their friendships in tact, but it was never like it was when they were younger. All of their parents had still remained close, though, so it really wasn’t a surprise to Lexa, Anya, or Lincoln when they received her wedding invitation.

There was still a small group ahead of her, so she let her eyes wander the room. She found her two cousins still seated at the table—Anya had looked at her watch and her fists were suddenly clenched at her side. Lexa laughed, assuming that she had outlasted Anya’s guess of when she would be leaving the reception.

The brunette took a step forward as she turned to face back towards the bar, she figured in the amount of time that had passed, she’d be a step closer to retrieving the cocktails for the other two.

She was wrong.

She walked right into the person standing directly in front of her, knocking a glass of white wine right out of her hand, onto the bartop.

“Shit,” she rushed for a napkin, “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

The blonde quickly picked up the glass, making sure it wasn’t broken, and trying to stop the mess from spreading more, “It’s okay. Happens more often at these things than not.”

“I’m really sorry, I haven’t even really been drinking,” Lexa offered.

The brunette wiped up the rest of the mess and threw the napkins out before returning back to the blonde, “I’d offer to buy you another, but since it’s an open bar, I guess the sentiment wouldn’t be the same.”

“You’re funny,” the blonde observed, “but since you can’t make up for it by buying me another drink, how about you keep me company for a little bit while my friends busy themselves on the dance floor?”

Lexa smiled, then looked back at the table Anya and Lincoln were sitting at. The two were staring intently in the direction of the bar—they had to have seen her clumsiness, and they sure had to have seen the gorgeous woman Lexa was talking to.

The blonde’s voice interrupted her thoughts, “Unless you had something, or someone, to get back to?”

Lexa smiled at her before turning to the bartender, she ordered drinks for Anya and Lincoln, a new glass of white wine to replace the one that had spilled, and a glass of red for herself, “No, not really. I need to get these to my cousins, then I’ll come find you?”

The woman nodded then looked down at the drinks, “Which one of these is yours?”

“The red,” Lexa pointed with her nose, as she was trying to grab all three glasses.

The blonde raised a brow, “How about I take yours back with me. I know I don’t know you, but you don’t seem to have a good track record with wine glasses. I’ll be at table two.”

Lexa nodded with a small smile creeping across her face, “Sure, I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

\---

“Way to go, Captain Clumsy,” Anya laughed as Lexa handed her a drink.

Lincoln nodded at her as he took his drink from her grasp, “Please tell me she took your drink away from you because she thought you’ve had too many.”

“Wait,” Anya chimed in, “did you give your glass of wine away so that you could leave? Because my bet was that you’d last until 9:45, and if you leave now, I could still win. We have a 10-minute grace period built into the rules.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “You guys have rules on the bet?”

“How do you think we keep it interesting? Sometimes, we even take a dice out and to play a side game on top of it,” Lincoln laughed.

“I hate you both,” the brunette mumbled, “I’ll be back.”

Anya shot her eyes to her cousin, “Where are you going?”

“I was just going to talk to her a little, least I could do for spilling her drink,” Lexa shrugged.

Lincoln smirked at his cousin, “What’s the pretty girl’s name, Lex? Was she flirting with you? I may have to rethink my bet time.”

“No,” Lexa shook her head, “she was just friendly, that’s all. Not sure what her name is, though. Guess it’s time for me to go figure that out.”

\---

Lexa made her way through the large tent to find the blonde. When she finally spotted the table, her eyes were met with eyes as blue as the ocean staring right back at her. When she initially met her at the bar, she knew the woman was attractive, but looking at her now—she realized that she was absolutely breathtaking. It took her longer than she realized to break eye contact, before making her way to a seat.

“Sorry about earlier, again,” Lexa offered, “I don’t think I caught your name.”

“Clarke. Clarke Griffin,” the blonde smiled as she handed her the glass of red wine, “I don’t think I caught yours either.”

“Thank you,” Lexa took a sip, “Lexa Woods.”

Clarke nodded and took a sip of her wine as well, “So, Lexa Woods, I’d ask if you knew the bride or groom, but since I know the groom’s side very well, I’d assume you’re a friend of Echo’s?”

“My cousins and I grew up with her, our families are close,” Lexa explained.

Clarke smiled as she took another sip, and it was in that moment that Lexa realized that smile was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Clarke’s voice, now lower and huskier than it sounded before, “Did I lose you for a second there?”

Lexa moved her eyes from the blonde’s lips back up to her eyes, now knowing she had been caught staring. She bit her bottom lip, “You did, sorry. What were you saying?”

“Just that I’ve known Bellamy my whole life, I guess like how you know Echo. His younger sister is my best friend,” Clarke laughed, “but we can talk about something else if that was so uninteresting to you.”

The brunette shook her head, “No, not uninteresting at all, but I do have a question.”

“Okay,” Clarke nodded, “but if I answer it, you have to answer one of mine.”

“Deal,” Lexa stuck out her hand to shake the blonde’s, “you said your friends were dancing, right? Why are you sitting here instead of having fun with them?”

_Because I saw you and realized I desperately needed to know who you were._

Clarke brushed the thought from her mind before clicking her tongue to the roof of her mouth, quickly finding an excuse to give to the brunette, “Needed a break,” she pointed at her feet, “I found out the hard way that these shoes aren’t very conducive for dancing.”

“I’ve been there,” Lexa laughed, “Okay, your turn.”

“Are those your cousins at that table over there?” Clarke asked, letting her eyes gaze towards Lincoln and Anya, both of them conveniently staring right back at them.

Lexa sighed, “They sure are. Why?”

“They keep staring over here and I was just wondering why,” Clarke asked with a raised brow.

Lexa brought her hand to her forehead, “They’re so embarrassing. They’re keeping tabs on me, they have this running bet going on.” Before Clarke could respond, Lexa realize how that may have come across, so she quickly added, “a bet about when I’d Irish exit. Apparently it’s been my thing all summer. I never stay at these things the whole time, so whenever we’re all at one together, they each put some money down with a guess of when they think I’m going to disappear.”

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh, “Not a fan of weddings?”

“They’re just exhausting, especially when there’s one every weekend,” Lexa shrugged.

The blonde took a long sip of her wine before setting it down and standing up. She looked at Lexa sitting there, and extended her hand, “Come with me.”

Lexa accepted the offer and followed Clarke onto the dance floor. The song had changed to a slower one, and people started coupling off, “I thought your feet hurt.”

“I changed my mind,” the blonde shrugged as they stood in the middle of the dance floor, “Do you think you’re going to Irish exit anytime soon?”

“I don’t know,” Lexa smiled.

Clarke brushed her tongue across her bottom lip, “I think you should stay until the end.”

Lexa felt the corner of her mouth tugging into a smirk, “Make me.”

The blonde laughed at the challenge. She took Lexa’s arms and snaked them around her waist, before putting her own two arms around the back of the brunette’s neck. She smiled as she pulled Lexa a little closer, close enough for the brunette to hear her whisper, “I love this song.”

“Okay,” Lexa gently nodded, “I’ll stay.”


	10. What If I Told You...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Tumblr Prompt: "What if I told you..."
> 
> \---
> 
> A collection of drabbles and ficlets from Tumblr prompts.
> 
> Feel free to drop me a line there and submit one!  
cantgetoutofmyheda.tumblr.com

If someone had told a younger version of Lexa that she would one day find herself in a conference room with the head of marketing for 20th Century Fox Films, she would have laughed in their face—but here she was, sitting face-to-face with Indra.

The woman pursed her lips, making a calculated decision in her head before finally speaking, “Listen, Lexa. It’s the company’s 85th anniversary. We need to go big, that’s why we’re here talking to you,” she paused, waiting for Lexa to acknowledge the compliment, “I’ll be honest, we received a lot of good proposals from your competitors, but there’s something about Vice that has just been speaking out to me.”

Lexa nodded and tugged her lips into a grin, “Is it the exceptional branded content we make for our partners? Our network of publications we have ties to? The culturally relevant events we plan on a weekly basis?” She lifted her brow before she continued, “Indra, I promise you that if you go with my team, the whole world will know that your company will be throwing the party of the year. Forget the Met Gala, everyone’s going to want an invite to this.”

Indra couldn’t help but laugh at the younger woman’s enthusiasm, “They don’t call you ‘The Commander’ for nothing, huh?”

“So I’ve been told,” Lexa smirked.

“Okay,” Indra sighed, “Put your best team on it. I want a huge campaign—media running at least a month before the event. Co-branded billboards. Hell, I want every damn bus, cab, and train wrapped in our posters.”

“You got it,” Lexa nodded as she jotted down notes.

“And,” Indra lifted her index finger, “I want your creative department to vet all the artists through me. I give final approval on the commissioned pieces, and I am counting on your creatives to make sure that our vision isn’t being taken away.”

Lexa nodded again, “Of course,” she couldn’t help the grin on her face as she stuck out her hand, “So do we have a deal?”

Indra let out a chuckle, reaching for the brunette’s hand, “It seems as so.”

\---

“It’s going to be fucking sick, Lexa,” Anya smiled, flipping through a Keynote presentation, “Indra approved every single artist I chose and their initial concepts.”

“Knew you’d come through,” Lexa shrugged.

“Oh,” Anya turned to face her, “As if I’ve never come through with mind blowing plans?”

“You do,” she shrugged again, “that’s why you’re our creative director.”

Anya placed her hand on Lexa’s shoulder, “Exactly. Now are you ready for me to run through production timelines? They’re kind of tight, but I know we can make them work.”

Lexa sat on the lounge chair across Anya’s desk and kicked her feet onto the small coffee table, “Hit me.”

“Alright,” Anya flipped to another slide, “We give the artists approval today to start their pieces and check in next Tuesday for revisions—that’s over a week from now, which should be enough time. By the following Tuesday, we do one more round—hopefully working with the final product. Once Indra gives the ‘okay,’ she chooses eight of the thirty pieces to highlight in the advertising leading up to the event, and the rest will be unveiled there.”

Lexa nodded, the tip of her ballpoint pen was sitting at the corner of her mouth, “We’ll need to digitize all the paintings as soon as they’re finished in order to get the right specs for the billboards and transit wraps, then your team will have to work pretty quick to get some editorial pieces, digital videos of the story behind the eight pieces, and all the online banners.”

“All built into the timeline,” Anya shook her head, “Have you no faith in me?”

“I know,” Lexa nodded, “I know. It’s just the biggest partner we’ve ever had and biggest campaign and event we’ve ever done, it needs to be perfectly executed.”

Anya looked at her friend dead in the eyes, “And it will be.”

\---

To say that the campaign leading into the event was successful would be the understatement of the year. The ads using the re-imaged artwork for the film house’s famous movie posters was the talk of the town—talk of the country. Every publication was writing about them, streaming for the eight movies chosen had nearly tripled on Netflix, Hulu, and Prime, compared to this time period last year. Lexa was beyond happy—exhausted, but beyond happy.

“Stop stressing,” Anya rubbed her friend’s arm, “everything’s going to be perfect.”

“I know, it’s just,” Lexa rubbed her temple before smoothing her pressed white button up which was neatly tucked into her slim-fitting suit pants, “this is it. It’s the climax of the whole activation—all eyes are on it.”

“Go mingle and check out all the posters, Lex,” Anya gave her a gentle nudge forward, “Hell, grab a glass of wine, too. I know you haven’t seen all the final art yet, go take a look and enjoy yourself for a bit—it’s well deserved.”

Lexa nodded, “Okay, yeah. Just call or text me if you need anything.”

Anya rolled her eyes, “Just go.”

\---

Lexa found herself sipping her wine and staring at a painting that depicted one of her favorite movies. She knew that someone was commissioned to do this piece, it was actually one of the ones she didn’t want to see the concepts and mocks for—wanting to be surprised during the unveiling of the showcase. She stood, sipped, and stared, hoping to find answers to her questions within each brush stroke.

“You’ve been standing here for a while,” a voice next to her observed.

Lexa turned to face the stranger and was taken aback by how piercing her blue eyes were, “I have. And I presume you have too, if you’ve taken notice to me.”

The woman smiled, “I saw you from across the room a few minutes ago. I’ve been making my way through the exhibit. I was pretty surprised to see still handing here as I made my way around.”

Lexa returned the smile, “I see. So, are you in the film industry or are you a fan of art?”

“The latter,” the woman smiled, “Do you have a favorite piece from tonight?”

Lexa turned back to the painting in front of her, “I think I’m still trying to decide. What about you?”

“Easy,” she answered, “over in the Modernism section—_Mannequin_, the 80’s movie with Kim Cattrall.”

Lexa furrowed her brow, “I actually don’t think I know it. What’s it about?”

The woman laughed, “80’s rom-com. Kim Cattrall plays a department store mannequin that comes to life. It’s so bad that it’s good. One of my all time guilty pleasures.”

“Sounds interesting,” Lexa smirked, “Might have to check that one out.”

“So,” the blue-eyed beauty stepped closer to Lexa, “tell me what’s so interesting about this piece for you. I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but I’d assume there’s something piquing your interest since you’ve been standing here for so long.”

“I–,” Lexa started, “Well, this is one of my favorite movies of all time.”

The woman nodded for her to continue.

Lexa smiled, “I knew this was being commissioned, but I wasn’t expecting this particular poster to be used. I know there were a few different ones floating around when the movie was in theaters, but this one was one of the more uncommon ones. I’m not bummed about it, just trying to understand why the artist chose this one to represent the film.”

She brought her attention back to the piece—it’s true, _Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back_ was one of her favorite movies of all time, and arguably the best _Star Wars_ movie in the entire saga. Mostly everyone knew the iconic poster: Darth Vader in the shadows of the background, with Han Solo and Princess Leia in an almost-kiss in the foreground, and Luke and the droids at their side. This piece, however—this piece didn’t depict that poster. This one had Darth Vader most prominent with Stormtroopers rushing to the foreground. The film’s protagonists all had a certain fear cast in their eyes—it showcased the power of the Dark Side, not the optimistic resistance of the Light Side that people were used to.

“I see,” the woman interrupted her train of thought, “it’s nice to see something so out of the ordinary for such an iconic movie, though. Don’t you think?”

Lexa nodded, “Absolutely, I think the thing that’s on my mind is just wanting to know why the artist chose to do their depiction on this poster.”

“So,” the woman took another step closer, now entering Lexa’s personal space, “are you industry or a fan of art?”

“Both, I suppose,” Lexa said, scanning the woman in front of her up and down, “I work for Vice, my team put the campaign and event together—though I am a big fan of art, even outside of this project,” she tugged the corner of her mouth into a smirk and reached her hand forward, “Lexa Woods.”

The woman took Lexa’s hand in hers, giving it a light shake, “What if I told you I was the artist behind this commission?”

Lexa raised a brow, but before she could respond, the woman spoke up again, “Clarke Griffin. It’s a pleasure.”

“Clarke,” Lexa repeated, surprised at the way the woman’s named rolled so seamlessly off her tongue, “Pleasure is all mine. Maybe I could pick your brain about your piece, then?”

Clarke raised a brow, “How about over a drink?”

“Well,” Lexa raised her glass of wine, “I already have one, so maybe we should get one for you?”

Clarke bit her bottom lip, “I was thinking something outside of a work setting—because that’s technically what this is for you, right? Me as well, I suppose.”

Lexa smiled, “I see. Are you asking me out for a drink?”

“I guess I am,” Clarke grinned, “But only for the sake of Star Wars and artistic expression.”

“Only?” Lexa raised a brow.

Clarke corrected herself, “Mostly.”

“I see,” Lexa smirked, “tomorrow at 7? Wine bar down the street?”

“Sure,” Clarke nodded with a grin plastered on her face.

“Well then,” Lexa cocked her head to the side, “I suppose it’s a date.”


	11. I Hate How Much I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Tumblr Prompt: "I hate how much I love you"
> 
> \---
> 
> A collection of drabbles and ficlets from Tumblr prompts.
> 
> Feel free to drop me a line there and submit one!  
cantgetoutofmyheda.tumblr.com

It was finally that time of year—the leaves had changed colors, covering asphalt and grass in a sea of orange and red. Shorts were traded in for tights and jeans, t-shirts were traded in for sweaters and scarves, sandals for thick socks lining the insides of boots.

The crisp air blew through the crack in the window, causing Clarke to bring the blanket cascaded on top of her even closer to her face.

“You know, if you’re cold, you could just close the window,” Lexa proposed, placing the bowl of warm, freshly popped popcorn on the coffee table before reclaiming her seat on the couch next to her blanket-snuggled girlfriend.

The blonde twisted her mouth into a smile as she shrugged and reached to grab a handful of popcorn, “I’m perfect just like this, but thanks for the suggestion.”

Lexa shook her head as she looked at Clarke—the blonde was more than content being cocooned in the corner of the sectional. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun, she was wrapped in a cozy blanket, and she was in deep concentration flipping through Netflix’s selection of scary movies. Despite being absolutely freezing because of her lack of blanket, Lexa couldn’t help but give her girlfriend a smile, paired with eyes of adoration.

Clarke felt the set of eyes on her, “What?”

“Nothing,” Lexa shook her head, though her heart eyes still ensued.

Clarke finally turned her attention from the TV to the girl beside her, now seeing the look Lexa was exuding. The blonde’s expression softened, almost matching her girlfriend’s, “Tell me, Lex.”

The brunette chuckled, “I was just thinking that I hate how much I love you.”

Clarke wrinkled her nose, “I’m not sure if I should be flattered or offended by that.”

“It’s just,” Lexa started, “I’m sitting here freezing. You know how much I hate the cold and hate how much summer is over—you also know how much I hate scary movies. But despite that, I know how much you love those things, and I’m just sitting here looking at you so happy and content and in your element, that it’s making me wish it was always like this, just so you’d always be at your happiest.”

Clarke reached out to pull her girlfriend close enough to envelop her in the cable-knit blanket she was already wrapped up in, “Come here, I’ll always make sure you’re warm.”

Lexa relaxed into the girl, leaning in closer as she draped her arm over Clarke’s waist.

“Okay,” Clarke leaned her head atop Lexa’s, “now I’m at my happiest.”


	12. Lexark Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Tumblr Prompt: "I think you're just afraid to be happy - Lexark"
> 
> \---
> 
> A collection of drabbles and ficlets from Tumblr prompts.
> 
> Feel free to drop me a line there and submit one!  
cantgetoutofmyheda.tumblr.com

Alicia felt a slight chill in the air—the sun had begun it’s decent, the brunette knew dusk was at the heels of their day. She looked around the nearly empty pantry, making sure to stuff any lingering cans of food into the small sack at her side. After one final sweep, she left the room, ready to find Elyza to make their way back to the safe house—they had been gone a little longer than expected, and Alicia knew her mother would be worried.

Elyza was new to the group. The mysterious, yet resourceful, Australian had saved the Clark clan from a horde of the infected during a supply run. As a gesture of appreciation, Madison had invited the girl to their safe house for a good night’s rest. One night led to two, and two led to Elyza proving to the group that she would be an excellent addition to their community.

This supply run, however—this time was the first that Alicia and Elyza had gone out together alone. Usually Travis or Strand accompanied the pair, but both men were needed to repair a pipe burst at the house. Alicia promised her mother that they would be back at the normal hour—back in time to sit down and have dinner with the rest of the group. She didn’t need a watch to know they were definitely behind schedule, the position of the sun over the horizon was telling enough.

She peered over the strewn chairs and barstools in the diner, but the blonde was nowhere in sight. She held a breath in, hoping the lack of sound in the space she was standing in would lead her to Elyza’s whereabouts elsewhere in the building. As soon as she was ready to exhale, she heard a muffled grunt towards the back of the establishment—Elyza was in the back office.

Alicia opened the door and widened her eyes at the sight before her. Two of the infected seemed to have been trapped under a bookshelf. When Elyza and Alicia had parted ways a mere five minutes prior, the blonde was clean—now, standing before her, she had the blood of the infected spewed against the skin of her hands and material of her pants. Alicia didn’t recall hearing the bookcase fall, so she knew the two on the ground were already trapped when they had come in.

“What did you do that for?” Alicia asked, eyes on the ground where the infected laid still.

Elyza dropped the blood-dripping knife on top of one of the lifeless bodies, “They were infected, why not?”

“Are you killing for the sake of killing?” Alicia questioned. She had noticed a shift in Elyza’s mood over the past few days—though it had only been a few weeks of knowing the girl, the brunette had been accustomed to Elyza’s _je ne sais quoi_ view of living life—the witty remarks, the banter that was borderline flirtation, the “let’s take over the fucking world” attitude. All of that had been recently replaced with a twisted sort of brooding.

“They were infected, Alicia,” the blonde repeated with a stoic expression worn on her face, “you’re looking at me like I just stabbed Nick or your mom. Did you find anything useful in there?”

Alicia shook her head, “They were trapped, Elyza. They weren’t going anywhere,” she took a step closer to her and pointed her finger in the blonde’s direction. “You don’t get to ask me if I found anything useful, because you decided to come in here and waste five minutes killing these things that weren’t even a threat to us.”

Elyza furrowed her brow at the other girl’s aggression. She’d seen Alicia act this way before—the brunette had reserved this kind of behavior for arguments with Madison or Nick, but this was the first time she found herself to be the recipient of it, “What’s your deal today, Princess? Let’s just get on with it.”

“What’s my deal?” Alicia took another step closer, “My deal is that you wouldn’t have done that a week or two ago, you wouldn’t have wasted your time taking those two things out. You would have been focused on finding things we needed so we could get the hell out of here.”

Elyza widened her eyes as, again, Alicia took another step forward, the girls’ faces were now a mere inch apart from one another. Before she could respond, the brunette started again, “You haven’t been yourself, Elyza, and you know it.”

“You don’t know me, Princess,” the blonde scoffed.

As the sound escaped Elyza’s mouth, she instantly regretted it—she had added even more fuel to Alicia’s already growing fire, setting the girl off more than she realized was possible. More words were escaping Alicia’s mouth—the blonde knew that because she could see her lips forming different shapes, widening more and more as the expression on her face grew more agitated. The problem was that Elyza had no idea what Alicia was saying, she was too focused on backing away from the brunette. With each word said, with each exaggerated point of her finger, Alicia was taking steps forward, backing the blonde into the corner.

Elyza snapped back into reality when she realized she was flush against a desk, there was nowhere else to go. She was sure Alicia could see the confusion in her face, but she couldn’t help but ask, “What did you say?”

“Are you even fucking listening to me, Elyza?” the brunette threw her hands into the air, “I said that I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”

Elyza took a moment to register the brevity of the situation. She stepped forward, leaning in closer to Alicia, “What did I just tell you, Princess? You don’t know me. I suggest you take that pretty little finger of yours out of my face before I make you.”

“Don’t you dare threaten me,” Alicia lifted her chin in defiance, another tactic that was reserved for her mother and Nick.

Elyza lifted her lips to form a smirk, hoping to ameliorate the situation, “Then don’t tell me that I’m afraid to be happy. Look at the world we’re living in, Leesh. This life—this new life we’re all figuring out—it’s not about finding ways to be happy, it’s about surviving.”

Alicia finally relaxed her body at the sight of Elyza’s smirk turning into a somber smile, “I–” she moved her line of sight from the blonde’s mouth to her eyes, “I’ve noticed something in you shifting the past few days and I didn’t know what to make of it. You’re a difficult person to read.”

Elyza nodded, she knew the girl was right, but she was nowhere near ready to tell her the reason why, “You’re right, on both accounts.”

Alicia broke eye contact—she didn’t want the blonde to be able to read her in this moment of vulnerability. Her eyes darted to the wall behind Elyza,“Were you planning on leaving?”

Elyza furrowed her brow, “What? Leave where?”

“Leave town, leave the safe house, leave us,” she looked back up towards Elyza—her eager blue eyes looked as if they held a storm inside them, “leave me.”

“No,” Elyza shook her head, “No, I wasn’t going to do that—that’s not what this was about, okay?”

Alicia nodded, “That thing you said earlier about this life—I get what you were saying, but maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don’t we deserve better than that?”

Elyza reached for the brunette’s hand as she mustered a smile, “Maybe we do.”

The brunette squeezed her hand, but before she could get a word in, Elyza continued, “I’m sorry about how I’ve been the past few days—I promise in time I’ll find a way to express myself better to you. But let’s head home now, yeah? Don’t want Madison killing me for keeping you out past curfew.”


	13. Lexark Part 2

She tossed and turned until she couldn’t manage any longer. She picked up the weathered watch on her nightstand and came to terms with the fact that it was 4:41 in the morning and that any lingering hope of sleep was long gone. The songs of cicadas were filling the air, and though she always appreciated the sound, they were not helpful in that exact moment. With a deep sigh, Alicia swung her feet over the side of the bed, grabbed the book she had already re-read three times that month, and made her downstairs.

The house they had found themselves in—Alicia and her family, Travis and his son, Strand, Ofelia and her father, and now Elyza—was different from all the rest. They joked that it was a hidden treasure. That it was something sent from someone watching over them. When they first found it, the gates around the perimeter had been locked from the outside. Once they were able to make their way onto the grounds, they realized the space was large enough for them all to have more than an ounce of privacy. The size of the house was much larger than they had thought upon first glance, there was a finished barn—one that was equipped with an office—and two separate bedrooms above the span of the garage. The farm itself had a rich terroir, and while all the crops had come and gone over the lack of tending in recent months, they immediately knew they would be able to start fresh

It was off the beaten path. Miles and miles away from any city center or town, and while that proved to be a risk for gathering supplies and making their (sometimes) daily runs, they were thankful for the safety it brought them once the sun went down to rest.

Alicia sauntered her way into the living room. She didn’t bother turning the main light on, she knew that her book lamp was in the drawer nearby the couch. As soon as she plopped onto the couch, she heard a yelp and realized she wasn’t alone.

“What the fuck!” The brazen Australian lept from her seat in a matched, half-awake demeanor. “Jesus, Princess. You trying to give me a heart attack?”

Alicia’s heart raced at the surprise, but was slowly coming back down realizing it was just Elyza. She sat back down in the spot she had originally intended, the spot Elyza seemed to have been laying down in, “Why are you sleeping on the couch?”

Elyza scratched her head and rubbed her eyes, trying to rid herself of the tired feeling she was wearing, “I couldn’t sleep. Came down here to sharpen knives and do a little cleaning.” She let out a bleak laugh, “Sounds about right that it was chores that finally got me to bed.”

Alicia nodded in acknowledgement, as she fixed the small light onto the top of her book. It had been days since the pair went on a supply run on their own, and they still hadn’t talked about what happened. Hadn’t talked about Alicia lashing out, hadn’t talked about Elyza expressing that she _did_ have something to explain.

In fact, since that day, they really hadn’t talked at all. The behavior hadn’t gone unnoticed by the rest of the group either. Leading up to that day, Alicia and Elyza had grown so immensely closer. They had started to spend more time with one another—Alicia sharing her music and books, Elyza sharing her ideals on the world and teaching Alicia how to be a better “survivor” in it. The time they spent together formed a different kind of bond than Elyza had with anyone else in the house, and at times, Nick, Chris, and Ofelia questioned if they had been skirting over a line of friendship and something more.

Their silence was deafening to everyone they shared their home with. It was three days of them actively avoiding each other, and three days of them actively avoiding any questions on what had happened between the two during the supply run.

“Did you want me to leave?” Elyza cautiously broke the silence. She stood near the couch and started collecting the knives she had laid out across the coffee table.

Alicia didn’t bother to lift her head from the book. She would be lying if she said she was actually reading it. The pages in her hand were actually just serving as a distraction, something to stare into, so she wouldn’t have to look at Elyza, “You can do whatever you want.”

“No,” Elyza shook her head and let out a frustrated sigh. “The other day. You asked me if I was planning on leaving. Leaving here,” she reminded Alicia. “Did you want me to?”

Alicia closed the book and finally met eyes with her, “What about that conversation made you think _that_’s what I wanted, Elyza? Did it occur to you that I was so worked up because that was the opposite of what I wanted?”

“And how the hell was I supposed to know that?” Elyza scoffed. “You never mentioned anything beforehand, Princess. What the hell was I supposed to think?”

“You know what, Elyza? I was so incredibly wrong to just assume you and I were on the same page,” Alicia shook her head. “Do whatever the fuck you want. Go back to your room. Stay down here. Leave for good. I don’t give two shits anymore.”

“You being so worked up about this tells me otherwise,” Elyza frankly stated.

“You’re infuriating,” Alicia scoffed.

“Tell me why you were scared that I was going to run off,” Elyza took a seat on the couch. She was far enough to leave space between them, but she still wanted to make her presence known. She wanted Alicia to see that she cast her indignant tone to the side and was now filled with worry. “I need to know.”

Alicia took a deep breath and finally turned to face her, “Ever since my dad died, it’s just been hard to think about losing people I care about. First it was him. Then living every day wondering if my brother was going to OD. Then losing Matt when this all started. We’ve been moving from place to place, watching so many people turn into the infected—Chris’ mom, Ofelia’s mom. I want to be done losing people.”

“People you care about,” Elyza added with a faltered breath.

“Yes,” Alicia agreed. “I don’t want to lose anyone else that I care about.”

“You care about me,” Saying it out loud finally made Elyza realize it.

“I thought you did too.” Alicia turned away before she finally added, “I mean. I thought you cared about me, too.”

“I do.” Elyza’s answer came as quickly as Alicia’s last words left her mouth. “I do, Princess. I told you I had some stuff to explain.”

“And then you never did,” Alicia turned back to look at her. “You haven’t said a word to me in three days.”

“I didn’t know how to say it,” Elyza scratched the back of her neck. “I’m not really good with this kind of stuff.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Alicia scoffed. She closed her eyes and finally softened her expression, “I guess I’m not either.”

Elyza offered her a sympathetic smile, “I wasn’t sure if I was going crazy. I couldn’t tell if I was the only one feeling something. I didn’t want to tell you and have you be totally put off by the thought of it. I was scared that your mom would,” she took a moment so sigh. “I wasn’t sure if your mom would ask me to leave. If she would _make_ me leave. This is the closest thing I’ve had to a family in a long time, Princess. Everything really fucking spooked me.”

“I felt it, too,” Alicia moved closer to Elyza. “I mean, I feel it, too. I still do.”

“Something kind of magical, huh?” Elyza cast another smile her way.

“Something like that,” Alicia nodded. “Yeah.”

Seeing Alicia’s softened demeanor, hearing her gentle tone, she shifted even closer, “What do we oughta do about it, Princess?”

Alicia timidly bit down onto her bottom lip, “I think you should kiss me. And if we like it, then we should plan on you kissing me a lot more down the road.”

That was all Elyza needed to hear. Every worry from the previous three days had vanished, and everything she had wanted to do in the weeks leading up to this was finally coming to life. When Elyza pressed her lips against Alicia’s, when Alicia returned her kiss with fervor and certainty and want, Elyza knew that there would be many, many more in store for them down the road.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading these little Clexa snippets of mine! Drop me a comment here and let me know what you think. :)
> 
> If you have an idea for a story that you're interesting in me exploring, I take prompts on Tumblr here: https://cantgetoutofmyheda.tumblr.com/ask


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